What My Grandma’s Texas Accent Taught Me About Life's 'Rackets' and Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs

Growing up in Texas, I learned that some words just hit differently depending on where you’re from. For my grandma, one of those words was “racket.” Whenever she’d say it, her Texas accent would thicken, almost as if the word itself brought her back in time.

In her world, a “racket” wasn’t just noise; it was all the fuss people made over things that seemed downright silly to her. My cousins and I would be "in a fuss" and she would address it and say "stop that racket".

But over the years, I’ve come to see that “rackets” are more than just a Texas way of saying “nonsense.” They’re hidden beliefs, often formed long ago, that run our lives like an old script we don’t even know we’re reading. And if we’re not careful, they can keep us stuck, showing up as barriers to our growth and fulfillment.

So let’s dig into the concept of “rackets”—how they start, why they stick around, and how breaking free from them can lead to a life lived with more authenticity and purpose.

What Is a “Racket,” Really?

In psychological terms, a “racket” is a bit different than the everyday commotion my grandma was talking about. A racket is a behavior or story we tell ourselves to protect against facing something we don’t want to see. Think of it like wearing a mask. At first, it’s there to defend us from something painful, but over time, it becomes an ingrained part of how we respond to the world.

A racket usually has three parts:

1. Trigger: Something happens that reminds us of an old wound or insecurity.
2. Defense Emotion: We react, often without even realizing it, by covering up the deeper emotion with something that feels safer.
3. Payoff: The racket becomes comfortable because it gives us a hidden “reward,” like avoiding responsibility, gaining sympathy, or feeling “right.”

Just like an old Texas saying that’s passed down, these rackets often start way back in our past—stories we picked up from our families, society, or our own self-doubt.

How Rackets Form in Our Lives

Rackets can start as beliefs from childhood. Maybe you were told that speaking up was “unladylike,” or that “being strong” meant hiding your feelings. These little “truths” became part of you, shaping how you react in challenging situations as an adult.

And it’s not just personal relationships where we see rackets; they can show up in our businesses and leadership styles, too. For example:

• In Teams and Organizations: When team members hold back or act defensively, it could be a racket in play—maybe someone fears not measuring up or feels unheard. This behavior, left unchecked, can turn into a pattern that holds everyone back.
• In Personal Growth: When we cling to limiting beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t belong here,” we might be running a racket to avoid facing our fears or vulnerabilities.

Why It’s Hard to Let Go of Rackets

Rackets stick around because they give us a hidden payoff. Here’s the twist: while rackets protect us from pain, they also cost us something even greater. When we allow rackets to control our actions, we miss out on experiencing our full potential and building deeper, more meaningful connections.

Carl Jung, a renowned psychologist, famously said that “90% of the shadow is pure gold.” In other words, if we dig deep enough, we find that the parts we hide or avoid contain valuable insights and untapped strengths. But letting go requires facing what we’ve buried in our “shadow”—the parts of ourselves we’d rather not see.

Identifying Your Rackets: Key Questions to Start the Journey

Want to find the rackets in your life? Start by reflecting on these questions:

1. What recurring complaints or frustrations do I have about others? This can be a big clue; we often project onto others what we fear may be true about ourselves.
2. What payoff do I get from holding onto this story or reaction? Dig deep to see what hidden “reward” you’re gaining.
3. What am I defending against? Often, there’s a vulnerable part of us that we’re trying to protect by holding onto these behaviors.

Take a moment with these questions and be honest. The goal isn’t to feel bad about the racket—it’s to understand it and release it.

Breaking Free: Moving Past Rackets to Authentic Living

So, how do you start breaking free from these ingrained patterns?

1. Identify Triggers: Recognize the situations that bring out defensive reactions. Awareness is the first step.
2. Uncover True Emotions: Ask yourself, “What am I really feeling here?” beneath the surface reaction.
3. Challenge the Payoff: Is this “reward” really worth the cost? Would releasing this behavior open new doors for me?

Every time you let go of a racket, you make room for something better—clarity, peace, and the freedom to be truly yourself.

Why Breaking Rackets Matters in Your Faith Journey

For those of us who walk in faith, breaking free from rackets isn’t just personal growth—it’s about aligning more closely with God’s purpose for us. When we shed our masks, we become more available to step boldly into the life He has planned.

Whether it’s leading your business, supporting your family, or finding peace in your relationships, dismantling these behaviors helps us show up as our whole, authentic selves. The Bible teaches us that we’re “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), yet too often, we hold ourselves back from fully embodying that truth.

Ready to Let Go of Your Rackets? Here’s Your Next Step

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to join me in exploring these concepts more deeply. In my Breakthrough Discovery Session, we’ll work together to uncover the hidden rackets that might be holding you back and create a plan to step into the life you’re truly meant to live.

Remember, like my grandma used to say, “A little racket now and then is fine, but don’t let it run your life.”